Things Don't Go As Planned
by NarutardAccount
Summary: -THISIMAGEISNTMINEISWEAR-Forced to live together, Naruto and Sasuke learn what being a team means and what it means to work together. Will things work out?Or will they fight?Will they learn to "get along"?Will they go at each others throats or to the death?Find commonground?HAHAwe'llsee!AU Before the Last. Before Shipuden. Before Boruto. You get the idea.Ran out of space NOOOO


**A/N**: _The summary says it all. When I say we're going back, I mean we're going waaaaaaay back. Back in the old days of Naruto. Naruto is not hokage yet and I'd say this would be right after the Chunin Exam? I think?_  
_Anyway, like I said, this is the old Naruto we're talking about._  
_No, but seriously, no Doritos or Salads or fillers or anything like that._

_Oh yeah! And if I don't update this a lot it's because I'm too busy playing Naruto Blazing. I'm saving up and farming for ninja pearls before I get 5 star hash and mad. That or trying to do homework plus high school hell_

_Anyway, sorry if this sucks or is cringy - at least to me it is. I'm not good at writing Naruto's POV and this was me trying to try it out for the first time. Now - this is AU or Alternate Universe or whatever it's called so it won't follow canon so BE WARNED!_

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

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**_Chapter One. Sasuke - The Worst Teammate Ever_**

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**-1st POV -**

Training was done for today, so I thought what the hell? Why not go to Ichiraku's! Maybe I could get some grub in before going back home. I was about to walk away, when someone behind me hit my head. **_WHAT THE HELL_?!** Who hit me?

"Hey, hold on, Naruto!" A familiar voice snapped at me. I look up and when I see who it is it brings a smile to a face. Ohhh, I know who it is now. It's just Sakura. Of course! Who else could it be? I can't remember the last time she showed such love - uhh, I mean - monstrous strength to me! Not since I made fun of Sasuke's lame hairstyle, anyway...

Hey, I'm serious! It's the honest truth!

Anyway. That was a long time ago! I don't think she likes me still.

After I made fun of him, well - She punched me so hard all I could see was stars after I said all that crap about him. I still have mental scars after all that, by the way. I went flying fifty meters high. It was...uhh _not_ pretty, to say the least.

But enough of that! Like I said, that was a long time ago.

Right now is the present so that's, like, totally different!

Anyway. Back to what Sakura-chan was saying. I completely forgot because I was so caught up in my own thoughts.

"Yeah? What is it, Sakura-chan?" I ask eagerly. I was waiting with anticipation; wanting to know. If I was a dog like Kiba's dog Akamaru, I'd be wagging my tail right now. I haven't felt so excited in my life! I haven't felt this excited since I was a little kid anyway.

_What is it!_

_What is it!_

_What is it!_

I wanna know now!

The more Sakura-chan makes me wait, the more I want to know.

"I have these two coupons my parents gave to me on their anniversary." She lets go of me and shows me the tickets.

Wait, what? _Coupons_? What for?

I looked up, waiting for an explanation.

"Well, I was going to go with someone else." She explained. "That's what this other coupon was for. It was for that special someone." Her face expression saddened greatly as she said that. She looked depressed all of a sudden.

"Seeing as how Sasuke-kun doesn't want to go on a date with me anytime soon, I need you to come with me to Ichiraku's in his place. So, let's go! Right now! Chop chop!"

_Ichiraku's_? Oh, man! I can't believe this right now! Is she seriously asking me to go out with her right now? On a real date?

"Come on. Let's get going already, no way am I missing free ramen!" She said angrily.

"Sakura-chan!" I say, blushing something fierce, as she drags me along with her down the streets. Some people passerby stared at the two of us and laughed. If the people staring at us didn't know any better, they'd think she was my girlfriend or something. I mean, even I have to admit - we must look pretty weird like this. We never really spend time together outside of missions since Sakura-chan had no real reason to spend her free time with me.

So for her to hang out with me the village outcast and her holding my hand is kind of weird.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. I mean.

Wow! I sure wasn't expecting this! The guys always say how big and wide her forehead is, but honestly, I think it's kind of cute! That Sasuke Idiot from that Idiot Team Ino always calls her "Miss Forehead" and always say how hers looks like a billboard, but I think different. I always wanted to kiss it, but I know Sakura-chan would beat me up to a bloody pulp if I did. 'Cause I know she's got the hots for Sasuke. The last time I tried, I transformed into Sasuke. But before I could even, like, kiss her or anything I had a stomach ache and then I had to go to the bathroom. But that was just because of the expired milk I had earlier that day. (convenient plot point, am I right?)

Good times. Good times.

But a real date? With Sakura-chan?

I couldn't believe it. This was actually happening right now.

"Hello, Teuchi!"

I was brought out of my thoughts back to the real world and I see Sakura and I are at the ramen restaurant.

What was going on? I was pretty much clueless, 'cause I had no idea what was happening.

I heard Sakura-chan and turned to face the old man Teuchi.

"Huh? Oh, hey, Old Man!" I said smiling and waving at him.

Teuchi. He's basically the guy that runs the place. He's a great guy and all. I'm glad I got to meet him. He's one of the few nicest people I've ever met in the village.

"Ah, if it isn't Naruto. How is the ninja life treating you?" He asked me, as he handed us our miso ramen. Since I came to his ramen stand every day, I got to have free ramen. I was their best customer, so they let me have ramen for free the whole year as an added bonus. It was the best thing ever!

And now. Now thanks to Sakura-chan I've got this coupon so we can get extra bowls free of charge. And, hey, who can say no to this heaven?

"Oh, it's going great! I'm glad we're doing actual real ninja stuff this time. Like, fighting bad guys and stuff! Now, that's what I'm talking about!" I told him as I ate through my ramen. I was talking with my mouth full, but I didn't care. I was just so happy right now that I was spending my time with Sakura-chan **_AND_ **at Ichiraku's at the same time. It was like hitting two birds with one stone all at once. _Nice_!

"**Naruto**! Shut up!" Sakura hit me on the head again. _**Oww**_! Now that's gonna leave a bruise. Damn.

"That's good to hear. Hey, who is she?" Teuchi asked me and gestured to Sakura-chan.

"Oh, her? She's my best friend." I said with a grin, pointing a thumb at her. I could feel her glaring at me from the side.

A woman with brown hair and pale skin came into view. She's Teuchi's grand daughter. Her name's Ayame. She's pretty nice, actually. She treats me no differently than everyone else, despite knowing about the "thing" inside of me. And I like that about her. Not many people are like that. Most of the elders or the old timers normally treat me like trash or ignore me completely. But our generation? Ehh not so much. But they don't know about the "thing" inside me, so they don't know what they know. And I intend to keep it that way. If everyone knew, well, I would've been dead meat a long time ago. That's a good thing - for me, anyway. That they don't know the truth.

"Hey, Ayame!" I said with a big smile on my face. Just seeing her made me so happy.

She had a dreamy look on her face as soon as she saw us sitting together.

"My, how cute! You two look like a couple!" Ayame says in a sing song voice. She was blushing like crazy as she said that and got the biggest nosebleed I've ever seen with a pervy look on her face. Pervert.

I heard what she said and almost shit myself.

WHAT THE - ?!

_Couple_? I wouldn't go that far - I mean, Sakura-chan is like the sister I never had. But I still love her lots, even if the love does feel a bit one-sided with her at times.

But what does that have to do with anything?

"_Wha_ -?! Eww! No way! Not happening! He is not my boyfriend!" Sakura-chan said as soon as she heard that. I sighed. I knew she saw me as nothing more than a friend. But still- it still hurt. (we've all been there)

"And what's your name, sweetie?" Ayame asked.

"Sakura Haruno."

"Ah, you're the girl Naruto keeps talking about!" said Ayame happily.

"You - You _**what**_?!" Sakura stared at me like I was crazy or something and I shrugged.

"Uhh...yeah...you see..." I said sheepishly, embarrassed. "Haha...ha?" And what else could I say? I was at a loss for words. Any guy would be totally speechless if they were me right now.

"NARUTO!" Sakura hit me on the head again.

_**OUCH**_!**!** God damnit. Now my head really really REALLY hurts.

"Sorry! Please don't kill me!" I said as I held my head in pain. I didn't wanna die. I was too young to die!

I chanced a look up and Sakura-chan didn't hit me again. Thank kami.

Teuchi stared at the two of us and laughed out loud.

"Well, then, I'd better go serve the other customers their ramen. Nice talking to you, Naruto! Sakura!" Old Man said before leaving. Great. Now I was alone with Sakura-chan. I mean, it's like I didn't mind being with her. But if she keeps this up - well. The next time she hits my head with her monstrous strength, I'll probably have permanent brain damage.

I went back to my miso ramen. _What_? It was the good stuff!

"Geez, Naruto. Do you have to eat so much ramen?" Sakura asked from beside me.

I grin at her. "What? It's really good!"

She stared at me in disgust as I continue slurping my ramen noodles with my chopsticks. You know. I don't blame her for it. It's not like I have the best table manners, after all. But I can't help myself!

"Hey, Naruto..." Sakura said, staring at the table and not at me.

"Yeah, I'm listening." I stopped eating for a split second and looked up at her.

"Would you - Would you ever consider going on a date with Hinata?"

"Who?" I asked, confused. Who was this 'Hinata'? And why is she bringing this up all of a sudden? Am I missing something or - ?

"You know, Hinata. The girl in Kurenai-sensei's team." I shook my head. Haven't heard of her.

"The one that fought Neji?" Sakura tried again. Ohhh. _That_ Hinata.

"Oh, yeah! Her!" Now it suddenly came back to me.

"She was the one that gave me the healing ointment during the Chunin Exam. And she kicked Neji's ass into next week." I snickered at that. "She's pretty bad ass, not gonna lie."

I said that, but I knew better.

It turned out, she got a good ass kicking from Neji himself back there. She got a heart attack after that fight - cardiac arrest, I guess? - and the medics had to take her to the hospital. But I didn't tell Sakura that.

"Yeah." Sakura agreed, eyes still on the table.

"So, do you think you could hang out with her? It would make her happy." Sakura says, trying to tempt me into doing something for her.

"Uhh...I barely even, like, know her." I said truthfully. And it was true. I never spent time outside of my team to get to know the other teams better. Had no real reason to, after all. Sure, there were some people like Gaara or Bushy Brows or even someone like Shikamaru I considered comrades and close friends. But beyond that? I didn't see myself trying to become friends with everyone on every team.

Besides, I had training with the pervert-sennin to worry about! Three years of it to look forward to, actually. I didn't have the time to afford for friendships and all that crap. And I wasn't exactly interested in spending time with girls like Hinata, either - Sakura-chan was the one of the few exceptions, though.

My friends were here. They have always been right here in front of me. Team Seven is like my family. Without them, I wouldn't be here. That's how I feel, anyway.

I sigh.

"I thought she was really weird at first. Maybe that hasn't changed." I shrugged to myself. "Besides, whenever I try to even, like, talk to her she gets all feverish and faints on me. It's kind of weird." I said.

"I see..." Sakura said after a moment of silence.

"Why do you ask, Sakura-chan?" I was kind of curious myself. I don't know why she is asking me this stuff all of a sudden.

"Well, you should go on a date with her sometime. Maybe she just didn't have the courage to ask you out herself before. She's been pining after you for years, you know."

'_**Then I'll have Sasuke-kun all to myself! Mwa hah ha haha**_! **_It is the perfect plan!_**' Inner Sakura was thinking, but I didn't know that at the time.

I almost choke on my ramen. No way.

What did Sakura-chan just say?

Hinata. Stalking me. What the hell?!

I mean, I always thought it was kind of weird how it felt like I was being watched all the time. But I thought nothing of it. I thought it was the villagers, but apparently I was wrong. It was that weirdo. The whole time.

"Really? I didn't even notice." I said honestly.

"Yeah. Didn't you know? Ever since we were kids. Anyway, she really likes you. Has been for a long time now. Maybe if you got to know her a little bit better, you wouldn't think she's so weird after all." Sakura-chan tried to reason with me.

"Maybe. I mean - I guess." I wasn't really interested in some girl at the moment. I had my other priorities first. Like training with my Master Jiraiya the Pervy Sage, for example. I still didn't believe that some girl was into me. When I was so used to the older villagers hating me for what was inside me, now there's this girl who suddenly likes me?

Why would a girl like her like me so much anyway? We don't even know each other. I shook my head. It makes no sense.

I don't think I have the time to be spending with some weird girl anyway. Maybe if she tried talking to me without fainting every two seconds maybe we could be friends. If there was one thing I had always possessed, it was my infamous Talk no Jutsu. I was always able to talk to anyone and form friendships and unforgettable bonds, friend or foe. But I don't know about Hinata. Seems kind of weird to me.

When Sakura-chan snapped her fingers in front of my face, I almost fell off of my seat.

"Heeeello? Anyone in there?" She asked.

"Wha - Huh?" I blinked and remembered where I was.

"Staring off into space again?" I nodded.

"O - Oh. Yeah, sorry." I say sheepishly, scratching the back of my head out of bad habit. "My bad."

"You're so hopeless sometimes." She crossed her arms and sighed.

"As I was saying before - before I was so _rudely_ interrupted." She glared at me. What? It's not like I wanted to think about Hinata or anything.

"Heh...sorry?" I said shrugging. I went back to my ramen and continued eating. Sakura-chan was still glaring at me.

"Naruto."

"Hmm?" I say through my mouthful of ramen.

"I want you to stop being so mean to Sasuke-kun." I nearly spit out my food.

"Wha - what are you talking about? I am nice to him!" I say and then add in a sheepish, "Uhh...sometimes."

She rolls her eyes.

"Naruto."

"Yeah? Well. It's true! Give me a good reason...why I should be nice - uhh - er?" I ask, crossing my arms. Yeah! Why should I?

"Naruto! You idiot! No you're not and you know it. What are you doing, hurting him all the time. How do you think he feels? Can't you just stop? Pretty please?"

I groaned. Oh _**kami**_! Why does she have to use those puppy dog eyes?! She knows I can't say no to those eyes!

"Please?" She asks me again, suddenly leaning a little closer to me. "For me?"

Golly. I hate it when she tries to guilt trip me into something. Trying to make me feel bad for Sasuke. Yeah right. Like I'd feel sorry for that guy.

"Fine." I said before I could even think.

"Yay! I knew I could count on you!" She said hugging me with the biggest smile on her face. Sakura was squeezing the living daylights out of me and her boobs were right up against my chest. Even though I liked it deep down inside, she was still squeezing me like no tomorrow. What was she trying to do? Kill me?

"Sakura - ! C - can't...breath..." I coughed out.

She let go of me, still smiling.

"All I ask is that you say sorry to him. That's all." She said reasonably, like she was the voice of reason in all this.

I sigh.

Wait, what? What was I thinking? Did I just agree to becoming his friend? No way.

Who cares if he got hurt? Who cares if I hurt his feelings? I sure as hell didn't.

I shook my head. Whatever thoughts I had before about being "nice" soon went flying out the window.

"Wait - no! Wait! I take that back! Are ya kidding me? There's no way I'm going to apologize to that guy!" I felt so mad. I wanted to make Sakura-chan happy by doing this for her, but at the same time I couldn't do this. I could not.

Even a man like me had his limits.

The Great Naruto Uzumaki cannot. **_Would_ **not. Do this.

Me? Being _nice_ to Sasuke? Has she lost her mind?! That's crazy talk, woman, crazy talk!

We are bitter rivals. And enemies at worst. We have pretty much _nothing_ in common!

I honestly can't think of anything we could agree on off the top of my head.

We are so different from each other. And now she's telling me that somehow I have to "get along" with him - whatever _THAT_ means!

HA! As if! Well, I'll show her! I'll show them all! I will **_not_ **be friends with Sasuke and I **_never_ **WILL be!

I said just that to her and she shouted back at me, just as angry. And then she smacked me right across the face.

"Naruto! If you don't do this, I will personally see to it that I will burn you in HELL!" She then cracked her fists together and had the face of a she-demon just to prove her point. I cringed, indecisive.

Gee. I don't know.

If I don't do it, I'm gonna turn into dead meat!

But if I do...well, anything goes for Sakura-chan.

I sigh.

I seemed to do that a lot lately these days.

Before I could hear her go "_**CHA**_!" and become a crazy she demon I had to say something fast. Because an Inner Sakura-chan was not one to mess with.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Easy there, Sakura-chan!" I said, trying to calm her inner demon down. It was starting to show.

"No!" she shouted. "Do this one favor for me, Naruto. Or. Else." She said, her inner self coming to life. "You're finished! Ohhh, yeah!"

Okay! Okay!

Fine! Geez! I get it!

I'll do it. But only because Sakura asked me to. That's all.

"Uhh, I mean - of course! I can do this no problem! I'll become his friend in no time! Easy!" I said, bluffing. I hoped she wouldn't see through my lie. What can I say? I'm a bad liar. I was never good at lying.

"You'd better." She said, crossing her arms. I let out a sigh of relief I hadn't realized I'd been holding back. Finally, she was back to her normal self. And her eyes weren't slits and her hair wasn't flying everywhere- so that was a good sign.

"I'm warning you now, Naruto. I'd better hear back that you are being nice to him or you WILL be sorry. You will wish you had never messed with me and you won't want for anything else. If you don't do this, Naruto - If you don't apologize to him, I will make you go _**SHANNARO**_! before you can even say 'believe it!' Got it?!" Sakura said evilly.

_No_.

She wouldn't.

She couldn't be that cruel...could she?

"You - You wouldn't!" I say, scared for my life. I gulped.

"I would." She said with a sadistic smile, like she was enjoying watching me suffer.

"Bu - But, Sakura-chan!" I cried. Now I was so doomed. I had to do this now. If I didn't, well, I was better off dead. I mean, what am I without my favorite phrase of all time "Dattebayo!" or even "Believe it!"? And if she went Inner-Sakura on me...you know - I don't think I even wanna finish that sentence.

Sakura sighed and set her bowl of miso ramen aside to talk to me.

"Good grief. I'm making you do this for your own good, Naruto. You two have got to do this. At least try to do this. For my sake."

I nodded. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't even be doing this favor anyway.

She sighed a long suffering sigh and continued,

"Honestly, it's like you never know when to stop fighting. If _I_ was him, I'd hate to be friends with you. All you ever do is call him names and fight with him. Can't you see what I mean? I mean, what has he ever done to you?" She said, trying to make me feel guilty. "How would you know what he's like? When you don't even try to talk to him?"

I look down at my feet and clench my fists. Suddenly, I don't feel very hungry anymore. She is right. I don't deserve his friendship. After all, all he does is treat me like trash half the time. So why would I wanna be friends with him, anyway? Why would _anyone_?

The girls always say stuff like how he's so cool and pin after him.

Makes me jealous, you know? I would do anything to get attention from anyone. And he gets it all the time but he doesn't care one bit about anyone at all. The asshole.

I can't help but envy him.

I sigh again.

"She's right, you know."

"Wha - When you'd get here, ya lazy sensei!" I shout at Kakashi and pointed at him angrily. I was so mad! Kakashi coming here made me even madder.

"Yo! What up!" He said as he bought himself some ramen, too. He sat down next to me on the stool. He turned his head to face me.

"You know. The ninja girl is right for once. You two have got to get along better. You are teammates, remember? It's time you two start acting like one. Starting tomorrow. There will be no missions. You will stay with him for the whole day."

_**WHAT**_?! No way. There's no way.

He did not just say what I just think he did. There's just no way.

This has to be some kind of sick joke, right? Right?

I turn to Sakura. Kakashi-sensei is crazy! Surely she'll stop him from doing this to me.

"Sakura-chan..." I say hopefully. She'll save me from this nightmare! She has to!

She's not gonna let this happen, is she?

"No. You're on your own now this time, Naruto." She said with a smuggest smile I've ever seen._ Damn it_! I should have seen this coming!

I could not believe it. They completely one-upped me! That was soooo _not_ cool!

I'll get payback for this some day! I've got to!

If they think I'm gonna do this willingly, they've got another thing coming. Jokes on them, 'cause I'm **_NOT_ **going to become friends with Sasuke! He's the worst person I've ever had the displeasure to meet!

"Wha - Kakashi-sensei! No no no no no! Sakura-chan. Kakashi. You can't be serious!" I cried. I can't do this! I can't!

"No. We are completely serious." Kakashi said, and I could tell he was smiling behind his mask. Bastard.

"Yeah. You're going to do this." Sakura agreed.

Oh, come on.

You've gotta be kidding me.

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**Notes**:

_This is one of those fics that I'm glad I wrote because I became better off after it. One of the first few Naruto fics I had. And it sucks. I know._

_I've had had better fics than this. But I think this one was fun to write. So instead of deleting it out of shame, I decided to post it anyway. Because maybe someone will enjoy it? Since I won't._

_It was hard for me to write Naruto's perspective and character because it's like one thing after another. And it's like UGH._

(The fan girls do it all the time on Wattpad from what I've seen- see how many Naruto 1st POV fic there are out there)

_Like it's easier to do it 3rd person POV - and I honestly should have - but I wanted to challenge myself with this one by doing his POV. Anyway, I hope you liked it! If you don't, I completely understand. Anywho, tell me what you think maybe?_


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